Divorce can be a difficult, and long process. But it is possible to achieve a ‘good' divorce. This week, Resolution are running their annual Good Divorce Week campaign for 2022, concentrating on resolving disputes out of Court with clear guidance on how to guide families through this. With that in mind, our specialist Family lawyers look at the top tips to help achieving a good divorce.
Communication
If you can, try and keep the lines of communication open with your spouse. Should your communications become strained, or argumentative, set yourself some boundaries. Outline what you’ll communicate about directly, or whether certain issues should only be discussed in mediation, or through solicitors. Look at tools such as Our Family Wizard which can ease this process.
Children should be kept out of adult conversations about separation, finances and the issues about arrangements of spending time with each parent. It is very easy to forget about the impact the divorce might be having on the children. Divorce won’t end the relationship between you as parents.
Good communication will be key to facilitating discussions towards resolving your issues outside of the Court, which .
Find the right lawyer
Divorce is a very personal matter, and you should instruct a lawyer who suits you. You might not ‘gel’ with the first lawyer you meet with, and that’s perfectly fine. You’ll need to know that you are being listened to and that your lawyer is guiding you through the process with your best interests in mind. Sometimes, your lawyer will need to give advice that is difficult for you to hear. It is important that you can trust that your lawyer will be transparent with you, so that you can manage your own expectations and be realistic. Here at Lewis Nedas Law, Laurie Avadis has 40 years experience of having these kind of difficult conversations in a way that will leave you feeling certain that we are on your side and can achieve the outcome you are entitled to.
Be realistic
The courts aim to achieve a fair outcome for both parties, taking into account all relevant circumstances. Whilst the starting point for division of assets is equality, 50/50, there may be reasons to depart from that starting point in favour of one party. Often, it is hard to accept that the assets would need to be divided anything other than equally, and that after divorce both parties need to make economies. Being realistic as to the assets that are available and how those can be divided to best mean everyone’s needs, most importantly the children’s, is going to make the process easier.. It is also worth remembering that money spent on legal fees is going to reduce your funds in the short term but may maximise them in the long term.
Reach out for support
The emotional trauma of a divorce can have a lasting effect and whilst lawyers are there to support clients through the process, it may be wise to seek professional support from a counsellor or therapist (not least because their hourly charges are likely to be cheaper than your lawyer’s!) You can also lean on friends and family, but understand that they will going through their own process of dealing with your divorce as well. It may be a really difficult time but it will end with resolution.
Other options than court
Court proceedings, while they can be helpful and set clear parameters for all parties, are not the only answer when looking to sort out finances or disagreements about child arrangements. There are other options including mediation, arbitration, and in some cases direct discussions if you and your spouse are able to do this.
Not all options will be appropriate for you, but we always encourage trying to find one to suit you.
Contact our Family Law Specialists and Mediatiors
Divorce is a very personal matter, and you should instruct a lawyer who suits you. You’ll need to know that you are being listened to and that your lawyer is guiding you through the process with your best interests in mind. Sometimes, your lawyer will need to give advice that is difficult for you to hear. It is important that you can trust that your lawyer will be transparent with you, so that you can manage your own expectations and be realistic.
